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27.07.2008 Yeah, two years. Took me a while to get around to writing again, not due to lack of courage but more down to legal necessity (as my previous employer was somewhat unforgiving of prose based pursuits). It's been a rather tumultuous few years, emotionally and mentally harrowing at times even. Thankfully, home life has been refreshingly sane so that at least kept me lucid. It really is odd though, as I've been back in Britain for over 5 years now and whilst being one of its indigenous population I find it very alien and awfully lacking somehow. Those two years in Japan forced a certain sense of individual and social objectivity that previously wasn't allowed to truly grow. It's not that Japan was and is in anyway faultless but it was different enough to highlight the nonsense I grew up with. The nonsense I thought to be "normal" and even praiseworthy.
These trips also had a more profound affect on me; social swaggering is utterly meaningless and almost painful somehow. Living life at the higher end of the food-chain was an interesting experience but one that catalyzed my innate feelings towards what I really wanted to be doing. I foolishly thought that acquiring societal power equated to greater personal choice and further chances at making a difference. This wasn't the case. Admittedly I was offered all sorts of spangly things and was excelling at what I did but it was all meaningless. So here I am, me again. Finally. ***
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